The Vanishing

The strangest thing about the death of my mother is the vanishing.  That a person can be on this earth one minute and gone the next, seems like a cruel magic trick that I’m still trying to figure out.  As I reflect on her disappearance, I realize the slight of hand happened years ago and the vanishing was just the grand finale.

Dementia is a terminal brain disease.

I knew this but I didn’t know it.  Terminal is just a word I used to add weight and truth to mom’s disease because you’d be surprised at how many people don’t know this.  So I said it to help raise awareness and educate, and to help me say out loud in a euphemistic way — my mother is dying.

I thought I was prepared, even ready for my mother’s death.  But it was the concept of her death I was ready for, not the real thing.  In the beginning, “has dementia, will die” was loud and clear in my subconscious, then towards the end my concept was that death would be a kindness that couldn’t come soon enough.

But vanishing from the face of the earth?

It may have helped if I had replaced the word die with vanish and had been saying things like “my mother is vanishing from dementia,” or “my mother is receiving hospice care and could vanish in three to six months.”

A friend warned me about this.  She said “you may think you’re ready, but when your mom dies it will feel like you’ve been hit by a truck.”   I believed her, but “hit by a truck” was another abstract concept.  Another friend said the death of a parent is a “ground-shifting sadness.”  This rings true as I try to find my footing on this new and  shaky ground.

My mother vanished last month.

I’m sad, but I’ll be okay —  I’m just a little surprised at the size of the truck.

~  Joanne

An Invitation To Walk, Raise Money, and Help End Alzheimer’s

Racing Alzheimer’s has a Team and needs Team Members!
Save the date and join me for the
2013 Shenandoah Valley Walk to End Alzheimer’s!

 

Event Details

The Alzheimer’s Association Walk to End Alzheimer’s® is the nation’s largest event to raise awareness and funds for Alzheimer’s care, support and research.

WHEN:  Saturday, September 28th (Rain or Shine)
Check-in 8:30 am     |     Program 9:30 am     |     Walk 10:00 am

WHERE:  The Willows at Meadow Branch
1881 Harvest Drive    |    Winchester, VA  22601

WHAT:  Choose between a 1 mile or a 3 mile walk option.  Start line will be at the facility and walking will be mainly on walking paths and sidewalks.  Walk routes to be determined.

HOW:  Click Here, go to Register, then Join A Team, find Racing Alzheimer’s.

This is the first time I’ve created a team like this and I’m very excited about it!  I have a very achievable goal of recruiting 10 walkers and raising $1,000.  This is a great way to raise funds and awareness while having fun.  And if you have personal experience with dementia, this is an opportunity to join together and DO SOMETHING!

Please let me know if you have any trouble registering or have questions about this Event.

I hope you can join us!

     ~  Joanne