Mom: A Brief Biography

Mom, 3 yrs. old, 1940

My mother, Ruth Joanne Hall was born 1937 in Wadena, Minnesota. She was the oldest of three children born into a middle-class family. She had in many ways an idyllic childhood — along with a successful father and nurturing mother, she was a Girl Scout, had a paper route, sang in the church choir and yes, she even wore bobby socks and poodle skirts as a teenager. Mom graduated from high school in 1955.

Mom in 1959, age 21. On the back of this photo, in my dad's handwriting, it says: "She's Wonderful!"

After graduation, Mom completed secretary courses at the Minnesota School of Business, where she learned shorthand, dictation and other “cutting edge” office duties. Mom went on to work at IBM for five years where she was like a “Mad Men” secretary with cat eye glasses.  She loved her job.  She met my father during this time, they married in 1960 and my older sister soon came along in 1962. Mom stayed home after that, but her secretary training would prove beneficial throughout her life as she ran our household like a business. She had impressive organizational skills and balanced the checkbook down to the penny every month. (My dad benefited from this arrangement until it all came crashing down with my mom’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis.)

My parents, 1959 -- channeling Ralph Lauren.

My parents had three children under four years old in 1966. It was only after having children of my own that I appreciated how difficult this must have been for my mom. Especially in those days without the modern conveniences we have now. I have vivid memories of my mom rinsing out cloth diapers, washing them in an old fashioned tub, running them through a “ringer,” and then hanging them on the line.

Marilyn, Joanne, and John -- 1968 I think.

When the three of us were grown and mostly out of the house, my mom began working part-time as an office assistant at a nearby company. She loved it and I’m sure she felt like she got part of her life back. She had about 20 years or so to rediscover herself, travel and spend time with her grandchildren before her Alzheimer’s diagnosis came in 2005 when she was 68.

The long and slow descent into the fog of Alzheimer’s is her journey now. Click Here to see what Stage she is in today. Her family is on that journey with her and as many of you know, it’s a long and challenging road.  It’s been called “The Long Goodbye” — I can’t think of a more perfect description for Alzheimer’s disease.

My parents, 2010

 

 

Minneapolis Bound: May 2012

I am overwhelmed by your response and support of my blog launch one week ago, and I want to say a heartfelt — THANK YOU.

Now that the 10K is behind me, I look forward to writing about things like how eating less sugar, drinking more coffee and being conscientious can lower your risk of Alzheimer’s disease.

But first, I’m off to Minneapolis today to visit my parents for a week, and I hope to share from there if time allows.

My 78 year old father is having ankle surgery and I’m going to help care for him and my mom while he’s recovering.  My mom is still at home, and my dad is her sole caregiver.  It’s difficult being far away.  It never occurred to me when I left 25 years ago that my parents would need my help someday.  It just wasn’t on my radar.  Now it’s frustrating that I’m not able to help with the little things that would make their lives easier.

I’m part of what’s called the “sandwich generation”, which means I’m helping to take care of my aging parents while still supporting my children.

Wikipedia says,

“According to the Pew Research Center, just over 1 of every 8 Americans aged 40 to 60 is both raising a child and caring for a parent, in addition, between 7 to 10 million adults are caring for their aging parents from a long distance.”

I do what I can when I visit.  And as my parents age, it’s clear that I’ll be visiting more.

More later from the Land of 10,000 Lakes!

Minneapolis Lake with skyline in the background
I'm hoping I can find some time to run around one of the lakes while I'm there. I have 3 Mpls. lakes on my Bucket List -- one is done, so two more to go.

The Stages of Alzheimer’s and My Mom

Narrated by David Hyde Pierce from Frasier, the clear and concise video below has helped me understand the approximate stage of Alzheimer’s my mom is in.   The brain function descriptions without all the medical gobbly goop is as refreshing as it is educational.

It’s obvious that my mom’s Alzheimer’s is progressing along the described path.   According to this video, there are 7 steps in the progression of the disease, and I would say that my mother is in Stage 4, moving into Stage 5.  This is how the video description is playing out in my mom’s life:

1.  Mom has zero short term memory.  She doesn’t remember what she did yesterday, 2 hours ago, or 2 minutes ago.  She repeats herself quite a bit.

2.  Mom’s words are disappearing.   She has great difficulty forming coherent sentences and uses “filler” words and phrases to help with communication.  Quite often, the end of her sentences have nothing to do with the beginning.

3.  Mom can no longer solve problems, grasp concepts and make plans .  She can’t be left alone because her lack of judgement and problem solving makes her a risk to herself.  She is not able to accomplish a task without one on one guidance.

4.  Mom has become more emotional and I hear that she has her moods, but unfortunately, I haven’t been with her enough lately to witness her mood swings.

The remaining stages are approaching quickly, as there’s already been incidence of hallucinations. The average Alzheimer’s course is 8 to 10 years, and my mom is in her 7th.

Click on the video below to see how Alzheimer’s disease moves through the brain.